Bella...

Little black female pug
Energy like she's on drugs
running circles around little Max
All we see are two spazzy blacks
Snorty puppies for playing and petting
And the occasional carpet wetting
Be good or else you'll get kicked out
but you're too silly to go and pout

What does he think about?

Oh steam punk cat.
How I love your birthday hat.
Your fuzzy belly and metal arm
I know you'll keep me safe from harm
you dance around in my minds stage
and I wonder about your little gauge
what unknown dangers lie ahead
when the needle leaves yellow and turns to red

Be cool. Stay in school.

Ok Aztecs, we all know how stressful finals week is. But what about it's overlooked little brother, the first week? Parking's a nightmare, finding new classes amidst a sea of frat boys with their neon rimmed shades, that same girl you keep seeing over and over everywhere (wait, those are DIFFERENT girls? Huh, who knew...), and let's not forget the heavy hit your wallet takes while buying textbooks! Going over syllabus after syllabus can be daunting, but listen to me my fellow students, school is the only way society will view you with any value!
I don't care if you're constructing churches single-handedly while feeding a starving child with the other. I don't care if you own your own frozen yogurt shop, or if you are working on inventing non-orange spray tan. You need a degree! Why? Well, let's take a step back from careers and money. Don't you think the world would be a better place with more educated people in it? If you answered "No", then you deserve the STDs you're getting out of college, as that is clearly the only reason for your attendance.
But honestly kids, school can be tough. Just remember that quitting rhymes with hitting, shitting, and spitting. All three of those are bad things. Ok maybe not shitting, because that's sorta important to your health. But don't quit.

The sExpendables

Ok, so the Expendables was pretty cool. I saw it at like 10 this morning so the ticket was only $6. SCORE! Then the movie turns out to be really well paced action with moderately good dialogue and humor. The fight scenes were RAD and the action in general was really big and fun. Minor bits of romance pepper the movie in a good way to keep it from being 2 hours of mindless explosions. The characters fighting specialties are like
Hi, I'm Jason and I'm rad with knives and stuff. I'll throw approximately 25 knives in this movie.
Hello, I'm Sylvester, and I am good at shooting and looking yolked at any age.
Ni hao, I'm Jet Li and I can martial arts the crap out of you.
My momma calls me TJ but you can call me the big black guy. I like being big, and black, and having a big and black gun!
I'm Randy and I have jacked up ears. Also, watch me throw all these guys all over the place!

So, yeah, I liked it. It was fun. And it was super hot today, so the ac didn't hurt.
Also I bought shirts and hats today, so I win!

Everything I know about fashion, I learned from Lego men

-You can't wear a jet pack AND a scarf. You're head will fall off.
-When you are young, you always have the same face (smiling), but when you grow older, you can have facial hair, eye patches, angry eyes, prisoner stubble, a frown, etc.
-If you wear a hat, people won't be able to see your hair (or you can't wear hair...)
-If you REALLY wanna look different from other people, you've gotta have special parts.

A few non Fashion things I like to believe are true...
-Ghosts didn't exist until 1990. And a few years later skeletons came around.
-Humans are made with their hands upside down. Seriously, can you believe Lego says the little dudes' hands are supposed to taper UP?!
-JarJar Binx ruins everything. He was the first little Lego dude to have a specially molded head.
-Batman and Star Wars are really damn awesome.
-So are Pirates and Knights

Lamb Shoulder

I started to type in a title and it suggested a lot of weird things. I went with Lamb Shoulder, as you can see. So let's discuss them!
Ok, aside from the fact that I know nothing of them, let's say I'm an expert.
The lamb shoulder is the least juicy of lamb meats to eat, but makes fantastic jerky. Less common uses for it are: making lamb shoulder baseball gloves, cat diapers, alternative low power source, walker bottoms (in place of tennis balls) and ghost repellent.
Anyway, I just remembered what I was gonna write about originally. This pretty cool lookin movie called 2009 Lost Memories. Three hours of non martial arts, weak shoot out action. Oh wait, I should have said 2 hours of political time traveling Japanese/Korean cultural nonsense, with one hour of bad gun scenes. It seems as though even the director got bored of the movie and slapped a quick ending together that skipped over so much. Probably because they spent so much film and budget on the other scenes that were oh-so crucial. Like the 2 minutes where the protagonist is crying in the middle of a massive shootout, but somehow nobody hits him. Or even tries to shoot him. Or the scene where the rebel snaps after seeing his friend shot and goes agro on a museum with some kinda chain gun. ANGRY ASIAN FACE AND YELLLLIIIINNNG!! Yeah, for 700+ bullets. We get the point.
As I'm sure you're getting the point. Don't bother watching it. Instead go watch Kung-Fu Hustle. Slapstick dark comedy with fun, great martial arts! Or if you prefer Cowboy martial arts shoot outs with swords and guns and treasure and rival gangs try out Suki-Yaki Western Django.
Time to go pretend to be a grown up and do grown up things.

When life gives you eggs...

Make Lemoneggs.
I wonder who would win in a fight between Batman and Spiderman. Also, I wonder who would win a game of basketball between Spiderman and the Harlem Globetrotters.

Awesome things not enough people know about:

TV shows

Adventure Time (wacky kid and magical dog do awesome things. Cartoon)
Always Sunny in Philadelphia (3 hilarious dudes own a bar. Also, Danny Divito)
Chowder (Fat purple rabbit kid is a cook's apprentice. Cartoon)
Chuck (Awesome spy action that is hilarious and sometimes kinda sad.)
Dexter (Serial killer that works for the Miami Metro Homicide and only kills badguys)
Futurama (Hilarious future antics of a delivery crew. Robots, mutants, and funny writers)
How I met your Mother (Sit com about dating. But it's way funnier than that description leads on...)
Roswell (yeah, i said it. Old WB drama about 3 kids from outer space with special powers)

Movies

Drunken Master (kung fu+Jackie Chan+rice wine)
Iron Giant (Giant Robot who wants to be Superman)
Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (little sleepy kid has wacky dreams)
The Returner (Time Travel+Japanese+Cool special effects)
Shaolin Soccer (Kung Fu+soccer. Even cooler than it already sounds)
Shoot Em Up (Clive Owen being a badass with guns and carrots)
Sukiyaki Western Django (martial arts+swords+guns+western)

Books

The Adventures of the Stainless Steel Rat (A compilation of the books. Futuristic super cool thief action adventure. What more do you want?!)
The Alchemist (Destiny never sounded so cool)
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (Autistic kids are cooler than you thought)
Haroun and the Sea of Stories (Ever wonder where stories come from? Apparently from India)
Johnathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (Great writing can make a slow plot awesome. Magicians, war, and love.)
The Speed of Dark (Ever heard of Flowers for Algernon? If so, read this. If not, read them both)

These should hold you over for a while...